Gorillas At The Palace!

In the year 3,000 Charlie Tanner's Record of an Eco Warrior will be an historical document just like Samuel Pepys Diary. My ultimate aims are to reduce the carbon footprint with the help of Prime Ministers and Presidents; to eradicate nits by safe and effective means so that headlice become an extinct species, worldwide. They are a bit like a modern day plague without the poisonous bits;

to lobby the media re the obesity epidemic, smoking

and land hijacking.

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We are all giving a five minute talk at school about our hero. I have been thinking about London's Mayor, Boris Johnson. He is great at verbal acrobatics and once described windfarms as "giant bird blenders. " Boris's dad, Stanley, once got The Greenpeace Prize For Outstanding Services To The Environment. Stanley returned not long ago from Botswana where he was writing about elephants. This is not much use to Boris as there are no elephants in London apart from at the zoo. Boris seems keen to sort out the transport crisis in the capital. This is music to my ears. He is not a fan of bendy buses. I thought he should make everyone walk everywhere or get his dad to bring over some elephants from Botswana for us to ride everywhere on. It would also be a good tourist attraction to know that we ride on elephants when we do our shopping or go to the theatre. The Queen would look great on an elephant instead of a horse when she rides about doing all that important stuff. When I told Angus Burton this, Angus is in my class, he said perhaps they could change bendy buses for bendy elephants. I told him not to be so stupid. Stanley also spent three days walking in The Congo looking for gorillas. He didn’t find any and fears they may have been "wiped out". This is a shame for Boris. It would have been a good tourist attraction if gorillas replaced the guards at Buckingham Palace. People would crowd by the gates to see The Changing Of The Gorillas!

My friend, Ram, who is a Hindu, is going to give a five minute talk about his hero, Nelson Mandela. Angus Burton thought this was a man who "sailed around on boats, had only one arm and a girlfriend called Josephine. " Our teacher, Miss Piggott, said he was "sadly mistaken" and that Nelson Mandela was a "truly impressive man." I am looking forward to Ram's talk.